Wow... I never want to go through pain like that again
At about 1pm today, I had a sharp pain in my right lower back while I was finishing up at work. Thinking it might just be a strain, I got up from my desk & walked around for a while, shutting up the Showroom as I went, but the pain wouldn't go ~ & didn't feel muscular. Then the first wave of nausea hit. Some retching in the bathroom yielded no result, but I felt a little better. I had an appointment with my Tax Agent, so drove to nearby Brookvale, feeling more pain the longer I sat in the car & more nausea, but felt better when I got out & walked to the Agency. While waaaiiiting there for my appointment, the pain went up a level & now encompassed most of my lower back, so I postponed my appointment, brought forward my meeting with the Loved One & changed the venue to the nearest Medical Centre where, for the first time ever, I saw a doctor straight away. He had me lie on the examination table & palpated my lower abdomen for about 2 seconds before I made him stop... or I'd hurt him back. Suspecting a kidney stone, he wrote a referral & bade the Loved One take me straight to Hospital
The drive to Hospital was hampered by traffic & tourists all over the road, as well as speed humps & potholes, which did me no good at all &, by the time we arrived at Emergency, I was hobbling, sweating, dizzy & nauseous as Hell. Not to mention in quite severe pain. I found it hard to sit in Triage, but standing was, by now, only marginally better. After some vomiting convinced them I was serious, I was admitted & taken through to a bed, where I discovered that lying down was even worse than standing or sitting & the pain hit a new high level. In my delerium, all I could think was I'd make a lousy spy...if I'd known any State secrets, I'd have given them up even before the pain got this bad. After too many repeated questions about my name, date of birth & potential allergies, as well as two failed attempts at an ECG ( I was too tensed with pain to "relax & breathe normally" & writhing with the pain which by now encompassed everything south of the belly-button & north of the thighs)
, they finally hit me with 2 & a half units of morphine...
Which didn't do too much, so another 2 & a half soon followed. By this time I was convinced the only relief would be via surgery to remove whatever it was, because I knew I was going to explode sooner or later... probably sooner. As the morphine worked its way into my system too damned slowly for my liking, they asked me for a urine sample. Through clenched teeth I said I'd try... soon. As the staff drifted away to other patients, I decided to ignore their advice to not stand up &, with the Loved One's help, rolled off the bed & unsteadily onto my feet. As soon as I did, the pain lessened &, as a bonus, I was able to give them their sample, then remained standing as the pain slowly ebbed away over the next 20 minutes. By the time a disOrderly arrived to take me for a CT scan, I was feeling better, but still a fair way from okay
Eventually they turfed me to a recovery ward for observation & recover is what I did. Quite rapidly actually ~ within thirty minutes I felt like the previous two hours had never happened. What had
happened was indeed a kidney stone, accompanied by renal colic. See the entry for kidney stones on Wikipedia
for gory details, but I was gleefully told by one of the recovery doctors that it's the closest men come to knowing the pain of childbirth... & she smiled
Did I mention I never want to feel pain like that again...?